sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
