my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
