Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Your cock deserves a montage
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize