I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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