Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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