Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
