girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
