My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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