So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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