Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
