I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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