great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it's great music for shaving your balls
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
