Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
