if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
