I want to stick my p in your. b.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
