Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
