just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize