Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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