remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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