what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
