...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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