I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize