can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
