talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just gift wrapped bread.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
