someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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