So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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