this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
