I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
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we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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