you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
