i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
