You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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