4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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