Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
