Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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