Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
