im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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