just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
