Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes