Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?