you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
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I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.