I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER