I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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