when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.