Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2500) Bad night (1521)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.

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  (732): there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me. http://tfl.nu/v26u
  Replies (10) Good night (3901) Bad night (982)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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  (864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (6155)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.

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  (509): I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me. http://tfl.nu/tzej
  Replies (9) Good night (5259) Bad night (637)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
  Replies (57) Good night (660) Bad night (6576)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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  (603): im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too http://tfl.nu/8x1l
  Replies (27) Good night (7015) Bad night (1498)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is

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  (662): I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is http://tfl.nu/ce5u
  Replies (16) Good night (5269) Bad night (1935)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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  (610): i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am http://tfl.nu/8pmq
  Replies (16) Good night (900) Bad night (3138)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.

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  (407): All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck. http://tfl.nu/z2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (2203) Bad night (824)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.

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  (604): Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not. http://tfl.nu/n7ii
  Replies (12) Good night (3159) Bad night (706)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"

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  (630): When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!" http://tfl.nu/oaz1
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (1252)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!

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  (613): She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved! http://tfl.nu/ke0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1848) Bad night (609)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!

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  (646): Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth! http://tfl.nu/4hup
  Replies (5) Good night (2018) Bad night (385)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick

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  (508): He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick http://tfl.nu/aj8w
  Replies (5) Good night (646) Bad night (329)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.

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  (412): I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life. http://tfl.nu/i42f
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (436)

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