I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The uberlube is also flammable
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.