I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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