We won't sleep together?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up