If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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