at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
