You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
