I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
