Ambien. No doubt about it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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