My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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