I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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