This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
