Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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