I wannas sexs uuuuu
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
