You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
