Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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