on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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