I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
