Ketchup is God's man juice
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
