I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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