we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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