I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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