its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen