I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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