is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.