Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

Fav 34 2226 5496
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.

Fav 5 1227 5474
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

Fav 14 6529 1593
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

Fav 20 6703 1840
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

Fav 2 1246 3045
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

Fav 9 3009 1095
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(228): View more from Mississippi

Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

Fav 10 2087 844
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."

Fav 0 894 566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.

Fav 0 38 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT