ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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