I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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