i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize