....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
