I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ttyl tear gas
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
