i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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