I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize