ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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