guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
