well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
