I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
