Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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